JUhS Christmas Minutes

Sadly, the Johnny U Founding Dad Dudes were somewhat fragmented for Christmas Eve this year. In place of the Copes' annual Turtleneck extravaganza, a teleconference call was held. This being the first annual JUhS Christmas Eve Teleconference Call, no one was tapped to record the minutes beforehand. As junior Founding Dad Dude and former Eagle Scout, I was determined to have ultimately been responsible for taking down minutes and will thus attempt to do so retroactively in order to fulfil this duty.

The following is a fairly recent account of what transpired. These minutes are incomplete. In fact, this call may very well not have happened.

ROLL CALL:

Andy - Dallas
Michael Thomas - Dallas
PT (note: not a founding dad dude) - Dallas
Derek - Ohio
Andrew - New York
[????? non-understandable muttering, perhaps a Gen] - Dallas
"I don't want to be on this stupid call" - Dallas

TELECONFERENCE MINUTES:

[Dallas signs on]

[Ohio signs on]

[Ohio is booted]

[New York signs on]

Variations of "hello?" and "what's going on?" are uttered. It is determined that a sign in system should take place. Said system determines Ohio is not on the call. Time to flush it out.

[Call is aborted]

[Call is reinstated]

[Dallas signs on]

[Ohio signs on]

[Ohio is booted]

[New York signs on]

Again, after a sign on mishap, Ohio is not on the call. After some Christmas magic from the Dallas teleconference epicenter, all three JUhS outposts are simultaneously on the call.

Andy wishes everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Turtleneck Day.

Derek wishes everyone a Happy Christmas and large erections. This statement is to be taken as a scientific rather than crude one.

Andrew wishes everyone a Happy Jesus Day and very, very, very Happy Turtleneck Christmas.

Michael Thomas has nothing. He then leaves the teleconference room, very likely to inject, snort or otherwise imbibe some sort of banned substance.

Michael Thomas re-enters the room and states he fucked a black woman named Rasheed.

Andy said he woke up this morning with the following written in his mirror:
"I can't go down to the water's edge
I didn't do it, I saw who did it"
It is concluded this was likely written by Santa Claus.

The Founding Dad Dudes state this call may be the stupidest moment of their friendship.

An argument transpires over who will record the minutes for the call.

It is determined Andrew should have taken the minutes and is stripped of his Eagle Scout award.

Confused mumbling ensues.

All parties sign off. The teleconference call is adjourned.

-------

There you have it. I have no idea how to take minutes, but it's about time we had them on this blog. Merry Christmas everyone. Signing off.

Another Year, Another JUhS Reunion

I'm still dead, but if you're in the area this holiday season my spirit will be roaming the streets of New York City.

Why New York? Because that's where the three surviving Dad Dudes (and their lady friends) will gather, finally together after a year and likely not at all lamenting my death. Not in the slightest.

But I'll be there in spirit, meant in a very real sense. If I can harness this Spectrix of Awesome I've been talking about and somehow inject said spirit into the body of a sentient being, have no doubt shit will go down. They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but whoever said that was a pussy.

Despite my current state of non-livingness, it will almost certainly be a kick ass few days.

Since I'm dead and writing is a significant burden, I'd like to convey my prediction of how the New Year gathering will unfold through a series of images. Via stream of consciousness, if you will, since that's the only natural conduit left available to me. Oh, and fuck all of you.

NEW YEARS EVE, THE JOHNNY WAY

You know, more or less like that.

Consider Yourselves Haunted - A Canadian Rock Trifecta

Fuck you.



Fuck you.



Fuck you.



Insanity!

aaaand... Fuck all of you.