DEREK 360: Freak Nasty FAQs

I'm back.

Enough about me though. I want to talk about Freak Nasty. THE Freak Nasty. The dopest, illest, sickest, baddest, rottenest, pestulentest MC since that dude in C&C Music Factory with the pony tail. Freak Nasty, who gave us "Da Dip" and a metric ton of other life lessons along the way.

I present Freak Nasty FAQs

Q: What is Freak Nasty's real name?
A: Freak Nasty's real name is Freak Bill Nasty. He also sometimes goes by the following monikers: Coach B, Stephen Burnett, Brilliant Music Genius, and RenatO.

Q: Is Freak Nasty a Nordic God?
A: Technically no (you're thinking of Odin), but he is highly revered in all of the Scandinavian provinces and actually has a fjord named after him. Freak Nasty Fjord is beautiful in early Winter. He is not exclusively idolized in remote European nations though. He is renowned worldwide for his ability to bring people together in a cohesive and intelligent way. For example, before every G8 conference "Da Dip" is played on a loud speaker. His music is also one of the main reasons babies are being born today.


Q: I heard some busta talking shit about Freak Nasty the other day. What should I do to him?
A: Take away all of the Freak Nasty albums he's hiding (including his second copy of Controversee...That's Life...And That's the Way It Is which is probably hidden in a sealed bag in his toilet tank) and watch him die a miserable Dipless death. Either that or take him to any club in the world (except those where Oakenfold is spinning...Oakenfold and Freak Nasty go together like Maroon 5 and The Hives) and show him the wonders that the FN can bring.

Q: What is Freak Nasty's day job?
A: His day job is creating the music of a generation. He also dabbles in winning awards (The four Tony's he won back in '97 for his work as Raul in The Phantom of The Opera are only one example), inventing stuff, and teaching at Alameda High School in California.

Q: Wow, Freak Nasty is a teacher? Does he ever incorporate his groundbreaking music into the classroom activities?
A: Freak Nasty's music casts a pretty gigantic shadow. It would be impossible for him to dodge it, so naturally he embraces it and utilizes it as a teaching tool. At a pep rally at AHS in '04 he performed "Da Dip" to "pump up" the school before a big game. He was criticized after this performance for some innappropriate gestures with an underage student but because it's Freak Nasty the superintendent threw up his hands and said, "WHATEV!".


Q: Other than "Da Dip", what are some Freak Nasty jams I should be aware of?
A: This list can be long and daunting so I'll scale it back and give you the starter course on Freak Nasty appreciation. Start with "Da Dip". Learn it and love it, because remember, if you're not dippin' you must be trippin'. From there put in a copy of his self titled album and listen to track eleven, "1 4 Da T.H.U.G.S.". From there go back one track and listen to "My Alpha Bitches" before finishing up with track three, "Da End of Mista Big". Those three songs will give you a peek into Freak Nasty's early world. After that pop in his masterpiece, Controversee...That's Life...And That's the Way It Is, and listen to "Da Dip" eight times. After that hit up "Bump That Rump", "I Want 2 Fuck", "Boom Boom Bomb", "Deep Deep South", "Rumors Pt. 2" and "Fuckie Suckie (At Freaknasty Party)" in any order. The you should be ready. For anything.

Q: Was I conceived while my parents listened to "Da Dip"?
A: Yes.

That's all for now.

It's good to be back.

Derek Arrives, Finds Intrigue (6 days)

This post is a Johnny first, being written, that is, by two Founding Dad Dudes simultaneously. Now enjoy Derek and Andrew's musings, as they fuse together to become one existential voice, whatever the fuck that means.

Day one in foggy London town has been awesome. Everything was going so well, from the traveling to the sight seeing, that I was not prepared for the tragic and totally crazy headline I saw on one of the completely reliable street tabloids I was handed on The Underground this afternoon.

It speaks for itself.


Needless to say, I (we, Andrew & I, the royal we, the existential us) am/are/is on the case. We/I/Us need to find the head and the arms so we can ID this chick and solve this mutilation mystery.

Over and out.
-Andrek Runvoni (JUhS)