A JUhS Holiday

Today, the JUhS celebrates the 24th birthday of one of our founding dads: DEREK!!!



That's right, roughly 24 years and 9 months ago, Hot Janet and Magic Don finished up with some humping and 9 months later...voila...one Derek jumps out of Janet like a stripper from a giant-ass stripper cake....complete with sexy dance and g-string.




Today is truly a day of greatness as you, Derek, share your day of exploding onto the scene of the earth with:

1.) John Montague 1718 - Supposedly Invented the Sandwich

2.) Stephen Fuller Austin 1793 - Founding Dad of The Texas.

3.) Bronko Nagurski 1908 - Fullback for the Chicago Bears (making him Derek's favorite footballer of all time)

4.) Bob Feller 1918 - Pimp-ass Pitcher

5.) Charles Bronson 1922 - Badass Actor Who Set the Bar Really High for November 3 Births

6.) Larry Holmes 1949 - Boxer

7.) Roseanne Barr (Arnold) 1952 - Not Completely Worthless, Funny At Times Actress

8.) Dennis Miller 1953 - Overrated Dude

9.) Adam Ant 1954 - One of Andy's (JUhS) Default Band/Singers

10.) Phil Simms 1955 - Quarterback, Spare Commentator, Loins Exploded Out Chris

11.) Karch Kiraly 1961 - Pimpass Volleyball Player, One of Andy's (JUhS) Favorite Default Obscure Athletes

and finally,

12.) DOLPH "I'M DOLPH LUNDGREN" LUNDGREN! 1959 - Swedish Born Actor Whose Credits Include: "Masters of the Universe" (WHAT IT IS?!), the original "The Punisher", "Showdown in Little Tokyo", "Universal Soldier", many other spare-ass B-films...BUT...Most Known for His Role as Captain Ivan Drago, the Much Feared Nemesis of Rocky in "Rocky IV".

Today is a day of greatness, INDEED!



So, today, Drocolate, we celebrate your birth with baskets of buttery shrimp and numerous rounds of rums and delicious Coca-Cola brand cola. So let's party til we cry and puke and repeat!



Happy Birthday, Derek!

Video Countdown #1: Hi, Spike Jonze.

Sorry, guys. I would have updated this yesterday, but I was getting blown by a robot.

Okay, confession time. This list is a sham. If I hadn't been operating under self-imposed rules the list would be completly different. The middle three would have looked something like this:

4. "California" by WAX
3. "Buddy Holly" by WEEZER
2. "Sabotage" by THE BEASTIE BOYS

It doesn't because all those vidoes were directed by Spike Jonze, and in the interst of diversity, I made sure each video had a different director.

That being the case, the number one video is, inarguably, the greatest work of art set to music. Better than the bank robbery scene in HEAT, 9/11 montages set to "Walk On," and anything by the BLUE MAN GROUP.

Here, for your viewing pleasure and mind explodings, is my pick for the greatest music video of all time:

1. "Weapon of Choice" by FATBOY SLIM




Thank you and goodnight.

-Michael Thomas

Video Countdown: Why Does Michael Thomas love animated music videos so much?

I have no idea. But Pearl Jam's "Do The Evolution" is the 2nd coolest video ever made.


#2: "Do The Evolution" by PEARL JAM




See what I mean?

Video Countdown #'s 4 and 3

#4: "1979" by THE SMASHING PUMPKINS

How Billy Corgan went from 90's rock god to 00's prime asshole is an entry for another day. So let's bask in the glow of his better years with a little ode to childhood angst:




#3: "Tomorrow Comes Today" by GORILLAZ

Now let's cool out with some Gorillaz. Their first album is a strong contender for my top five, and "Tomorrow Comes Today" is my favorite track.

That's about that. See you assholes Saturday for the top two.

-Michael Thomas

Michael Thomas Celebrates His Birthday: Video Countdown

I turn 24 on Saturday. Strange age to be. I feel like Charles Bukowski after getting tossed out of a bar on his way to get manhandled and assaulted by his vicious landlord. Awesome.

To celebrate my next step into manhood, I've decided to celebrate by counting down my five favorite music videos. Which makes these five videos pretty much the best ever.

#5: "Idioteque" and "Karma Police" by RADIOHEAD

After much deliberation (a couple seconds) and help from JUHS-supporter and boss roommate Danny Jordan, I've decided video #5 is a tie. While substance whys, "Karma Police" is a great video with a good song, "Idioteque" is great video with a better song. Since the Studio City chapter of The Johnny Utah Symposium has deemed Radiohead to be the best band of our generation, a tie is not only excused, it is fitting.

Enjoy.

KARMA POLICE



IDIOTEQUE