BON JOVI UPDATE!!

Last night in Canada, Bon Jovi's tour jet skidded off a runway. No one was injured. Supposedly the pilots of the Boeing 707 overshot the runway by a few hundred feet which then led to the near-fatal skid. However, this morning I received a phone call from the JUS loving Jonny Bon himself. He wanted to set the record straight on what went on and the amazing set of circumstances that kept that plane from exploding. I recorded the conversation and a transcript of it is below (edited for content at the request of Jon Bon Jov himself).

>>>>>>>>>>
Bon Jovi (BJ): Derek, are you there!?!
Derek(D): Wha...hello?
BJ: This is Bon Jovi.
D: Oh hey man, what's going on?
BJ: My plane skidded off a runway in Canada. I almost (FLUFFING) died man. Sambora was crying like a little (GIRLY). Forgive me if I'm a little hysterical but-
D: -Hey Bon Jovi, take it easy dude.
BJ: LISTEN UP MAN!
D: Whoa...
BJ: We were skidding right, and I was certain that I was gonna (STINKIN') die. All of a sudden, I peak out the window and I see Dan Akroyd out on the runway with some strange contraption made entirely out of bungee cables. He was runn-
D: -Whoa...did you say Dan Akroyd?
BJ: YES MAN! IT WAS (MATERNAL-FROGGING) DAN AKROYD. HE HAD ON A PROTON PACK!! HE STOPPED THE PLANE!!!! HE SAVED MY ROCKIN' (BEHIND)!!
D: Forgive me if I don't believe you JB, but that sounds like (HOGWASH).
BJ: Hey man, I'm Bon Jovi..............
D: Ok?
BJ: A proton pack. This is the (FORNICATING) truth.
>>>>>>>>>>

The crazy part is that I believe him.

THANK YOU DAN AKROYD. YOU ARE A GOOD CANADIAN!

-Derek