DEREK 360: Things you need to know

Let me drop some more knowledge on you childrens. These are things you need to know.

KNOWLEDGE #6
Rollerblading is not awesome. Ever.

Rollerblading came into mass popularity sometime in the mid 1980s (i think). People would go to the local mercantile and purchase brightly colored blades and then get together with friends to rollerblade up and down their respective streets. They would form sweet rollerblading clubs and roll up and down the avenues in different formations like the "V", the "Z" and the "Long Dong Dragon". Correspondingly awful fashion was employed to make the rollerblader look like a giant neon colored spandex enthusiast. In the 80s, a decade regarded as completely ridiculous, rollerblading and its many life changing behaviors were merely drops in the big bucket of said ridiculousiosity. The lame way people looked both wearing blades and "blading" on blades was also partially acceptable in the early to mid 90s. However, in our current climate of awesome (of which the Johnny is oh-so-happy to be a part of), rollerblading needs to be outlawed. The only time rollerblading is at all warranted is when you have the blades on and are performing sweet tricks off of benches, rails, cars, or drained pools. In any other set of circumstances rollerblading is not awesome. Not at all.

That's it for now. Happy Fathers Day everyone!

I invite all of those who disagree with the above knowledge to comment.

Trust these things, for they are fact.

-Derek