DEREK 360: People love to fake it.

Hello friends,

I've been a busy man this past week. I have been wandering the globe searching for information about a few stories I am currently working on. This is not one of them. I mostly just want you all to think I'm a bad ass globe-trotting, jet-setting reporter type. It may or may not be total bullshit.

This story is about faking it.

*In the past few weeks the American public has been blown away by coverage about John Mark Karr and his supposed killing of the wee beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey back in 1996. The press sniffed this story all the way over in Thailand like three weeks ago and the scent was so strong they didn't let it go. They posted every little detail about Mr. Karr's creepy fucked up lifestyle. They sensationalized his quotes about his "love" for JonBenet. They quickly talked about the fact that every single man and woman and even a few animals in America saw Johnny Karr on the night of the killing. They blew this thing out of proportion like crazy and in the end John Mark Karr loves to fake it.


Johnny Karr's DNA does not match the gross festering petri dishes of murderer DNA that we still have sitting around from '96. Now he can go back to his "normal" life. He'll have a quick stop off in California to get a slap on the wrist for some child porno charges, but after that he can get right back down to the business of being the creepiest mother fucker to hit the media scene since Dahmer.

*In New Orleans there was a major natural disaster a year ago. There is nothing fake about that. However, on Monday a man stood up at a conference in New Orleans and made claims about public housing. He said he was the deputy assistant secretary of the department of housing and urban development (HUD). He spoke after the Louisiana governor and my favorite mayor, Ray Ray Nagin. He said that HUD was halting plans to demolish thousands of units in the area. However, the man loves to fake it.

The dude dissapeared quickly after his speech. What he said was total bullshit. He left a card behind proclaiming that the whole conference had just been the victim of an elaborate prank. Ashton Kutcher was not involved and all those HUD units are getting destroyed.

*I'm sitting here right now watching the movie Proof. It's got Anthony Hopkins, Jake Gylenhaal and Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow is supposedly a great actress. She's got an Oscar trophy and the fact that she hasn't made a movie in like two years actually matters to people. However, Gwenny loves to fake it.

Because she sucks.

YAYYYYYY,
Derek