Through the Aperture of Andy: "Come out with your hands up and titties out!"

Hello children. Let's take a look at what we have today:

NOW SHOW US THEM TITTIES!

Ladies! Would you show this man your bazongas?

What if he knocked on your door saying he was a doctor offering free door-to-door breast exams on behalf of the local hospital? That's what happened in one Miama, Florida neighborhood. Phillip Winikoff, a.k.a. The Awesome Dr. Hooter Handler, is the suspect pictured above and is an awesome 76 years old. He has been charged with sexually assaulting two women in their 30s after being invited in by the women to check their breastaseses. However, one woman became suspicious after "Dr." Winikoff started giving her genitals a thorough looksy without putting on rubber gloves. (I'm guessing her nether regions looked clean so he didn't think he needed them...and that this woman thought it was an all inclusive breast exam?!) The prude lady called the cops and reported Winikoff.

Winikoff was arrested after trying to expand his practice in another neighborhood. A spokesman for the local sheriff''s department had this to say about Winikoff: "Winikoff was not a doctor. He worked as a shuttle driver for an auto dealership." That just adds to the awesomenacity of this dude. Although he's creepy and perverted. And a sexual criminal. (Ok, he's not THAT awesome). But he still looks like the man.

I'm not saying I support sexual assault or anything like this at all, but LADIES! Come on now! An old man, looking like that, hell...forget physical appearances! IF ANY man comes to your door saying he's offering free breast exams: YOU DO NOT LET HIM IN! Use some good...or ANY judgement.

However, a dude coming to my door looking like the man offering to feel me up...I'd probably let him in also.

(Dr. Feel Ya Good)

COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP! ...HELLO?

Ahhh. Oklahoma City Police Department. OKCPD. Or is it OPD? Not sure. It doesn't matter. Anyway, after sitting for SEVEN HOURS outside a home involved with a drug investigation, the police decided it was the right time to make a move even though they had had no contact with anyone from inside the house. Units at the scene called in the tactical team, who subsequently made the entrance into the house. They made their entrance only to find: no one was there (cue the trumpet and the "WAH WAH Wah-wah-a-a-a-a").

Good work boys. I guess this was the Keystone Unit of the OKCPD...EFAHDS.

(Benny Hill Theme in Full Effect!)

That's it for today. Just some nifty quick hits.

And that's the world through the Aperture of Andy...them breasts looking firm and clean.