DEREK 360: Things you need to know

It's time once again for me to spill some knowledge for you guys. Impress your friends and coworkers and kids with these mighty fine facts.

KNOWLEDGE #4
Date My Mom is a fucked up disaster of a show.

Please forgive my harsh language but the television show Date My Mom on MTV is just obscene. A dude goes on three "dates" with three chicks' moms. After these "dates", which are chock full of straight-up-disgusting innuendos and double entendres. The moms and daughters have these bullshit pre and post date "candid conversations" that are so staged it makes me wish someone would step on my neck. Here's a sample:

MOM: Hi honey, I'm home.
DAUGHTER: Hi, how was the date?
MOM: It was great, we went to a car show and then we went topless.
DAUGHTER: WHAT MOM (obviously exaggerating her reaction)??
MOM: It's ok honey, we were just rising in a convertible.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
Fucking pathetic.

Then at the end of the show the three moms get together with the dude and they have a four way sex mess. No, they don't do that (at least not on camera...ersh), instead they meet on a beach or some other stock location and then the dude picks, based on the moms, which chick he wants to date. It's just a real mess.

I could pontificate on how shitty it is for a few more paragraphs but i won't. Just trust me.

KNOWLEDGE #5
Top Gun sucks.

I'm gonna keep this one concise. Top Gun is a bad movie. A really bad movie. Kenny Loggins is a bad ass and everything but not even his righteous tunes can rescue this overrated pile of shit.


I invite all of those who disagree with the above knowledges to comment.

Trust these things, for they are fact.

-Derek