Michael Thomas Has Opinions #2

I can't remember the last time I posted up on the ole' Johnny U. Did I last leave off with a shoddy political statement or wax intellectual with a dead baby joke? It's difficult to keep track of my mediocrity, and I appreciate my fellow JUSers who consistantly put up good work while I tread water.

I've been a busy boy, world. What with my community theatre play, a tenative visit to LA, and utter lack of originality, I've not been able to update with any regularity or zeal.

But I still have opinions. Here are a couple:

SILENCE IS GOLDEN:

I caught Christophe Gans' SILENT HILL last Sunday with the inimitable Derek Rundgren. It was my choice, and I was nervous. The last movie I picked was the Paul Walker shitfest RUNNING SCARED, and I feared a repeat of that unfortunate affair.

SILENT HILL is 50% awesome and 50% intolerable. The visuals were amazing (imagine Tarsem's THE CELL with shittier lighting, effective design, and actual restraint), but the story was atrocious. I'm not quite sure what was going on, even though a good portion of the film was devoted to unnecessary exposition. It would have made a great silent movie.

The script was written by Roger Avary(co-writer of PULP FICTION, writer/director of KILLING ZOE and RULES OF ATTRACTION), and I was surprised at how lazy and unfocused it was. Avary's work is generally streamlined and concise, but he was either overwelmed by Gans' ambition, or too enamored with his own vision to generate a decisive product.

In the end, SILENT HILL is a movie overloaded with bloat and brimming with misopportunity. But it also contains some of the most searing CGI images yet produced, and I respect the bold attempt at an open ending. See it if you feel the need.

IT IS NOT TOO SOON FOR ME:

I hope I get a chance to see Paul Greengrass' UNITED 93. It's not an experience I plan to enjoy, but it's something I feel I need to do. My level for the heroes of 9/11 is high. The firefighters, police officers, New York citizens, and the passengers of Flight 93 were the very embodiment of the American spirit . I am humbled by their sacrifice, and devastated by the choking reality they faced.

If anyone can do UNITED 93 right (and the reviews say he did), it's Greengrass. His first feature BLOODY SUNDAY is remarkable, and THE BOURNE SUPREMACY is one of the most intense movies of the decade. Paul Greengrass is a powerful filmmaker, and the appropriate choice to bring 9/11 to the screen.

Check out this great interview with Greengrass over at CHUD:
http://www.chud.com/index.php?type=interviews&id=6524

ONCE AGAIN, FUCK AMERICAN IDOL:

I know I'm repeating myself, but with the AMERICAN IDOL season in full swing, I feel it's time to reiterate a few points:

If you watch AMERICAN IDOL with regularity, if you talk about it at work the next day, or if you watch the nightly news just for the IDOL updates, I doom you tied to the nose of Flight 93 as it performs it's vertical dive toward the Pennsylvanian farming district.

That would wipe out my immediate family and a third of my co-workers, but action needs to be taken.

Who the hell do you people think you are? There's a war going on, there's baseball to watch, there's 600 different Law and Order shows to catch up on. You want to spend your Tuesdays and Wednesdays listening to bubblegum pop and wretched singing? Turn on the fucking radio, or read a goddamned book. You don't need to subject your body to this crap and convince yourself Simon's quips are the epitome of high drama. AMERICAN IDOL is cruise control for the masses, and the road is getting dangerous.

Don't you realize that Carrie Underwood is just a whore that can sing to scale, Clay Aiken is as special as that gay kid who played Tony in your high school's production of WEST SIDE STORY, Ruben Studdard nothing more than a fat tub of Jell-O poop, and Justin Giannnniiinnniii a Carrot-Top clone? Kelly Clarkson gets a free pass because she didn't know any better, but the rest of those assholes have blood on their hands. And so do you, motherfuckers.

OKAY, I'M SORRY FOR THAT LAST SECTION. LET'S ALL BE FRIENDS AGAIN, AND CONNECT THROUGH THE POWER OF MUSIC:

I don't know what the general consensus is on today's music. I'm generally out of touch with what the kids are listening to these days, as I only listen to U2 cover bands and Radiohead b-sides.

But I dig those ARCTIC MONKEYS. Here's a cool little video made from their kick-ass song VIEW FROM THE AFTERNOON. Enjoy, and I'll be back again soon.