DEREK 360: Scott Stapp
Let's talk for a minute here about Scott Stapp.
Let's try and discuss the man behind the ridiculous music and behavior.
Let's try not to let our own personal ire towards this man cloud the facts this time.
Let's try and just present Scott's case and then base our opinions about him on that case.
With that in mind, allow me to present some information (in reverse chronological order).
EXHIBIT A:
Scott Stapp got married on Friday to Jaclyn Nesheiwat. Ms. Nesheiwat is a former Miss New York who now lives in Miami. They were married in a ceremony at the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens in Miami. I'm sure it was a beautiful sight. I'd be willing to bet that Scott Stapp wept openly as he read his vows. At that moment Scott Stapp was doing well.
-THEN-
Saturday morning rolls around and Scotty and Mrs. Scotty need to jetset down to Hawaii to enjoy some sun and fun. Unfortunately Scott had had some drinks (of the alcoholic variety) and was arrested by airport police for being publicly intoxicated. He was barred from boarding the plane because of his "boisterous" and "antagonistic" behavior. Then (and this is my favorite part) Stapp demanded a breathalizer test, which he failed.
EXHIBIT B:
Scotty too hotty is asked to come in to tape an episode of "Casino Cinema". The show is one of the many tired celebrity poker shows popping up all over the place. Scott was asked to come on the show and Scott loves poker so at that moment Scott was doing well.
-THEN-
Scott shows up on set and is obviously drunk (as fuck). He slurs his words, curses, claims Dave Grohl has "a little cock" and demands a kiss from the shows female cohost.
EXHIBIT C:
Scott Stapp meets 311 in a bar. He approaches 311 and tells them he is a fan. 311 and Stapp enjoy a fleeting moment of (drunken) conversation. At that moment Scott Stapp was doing well.
-THEN-
Stapp utters, "311, I am ready to fight," and the highly publicised bar fight between 311 and Stapp starts.
EXHIBIT D (my personal favorite):
Scott Stapp and his band Creed were enjoying success so they decided to go on tour. At that moment Scott was doing well.
-THEN-
During a gig in Chicago for the "Weathered" tour Stappy made some mistakes. He drank half a bottle of Jack before the show and then staggered out there to greet the Creed faithful. He got all the words wrong on five songs and then left the stage. He was certain that the show was over. He went backstage and laid down on a couch. His bandmate, Mark Tremonti, had to tell the crowd of Chicagoans that he'd "be right back" while he went to fetch Stapp. He got Stapp back on stage and the problems just escalated. Stapp removed his shirt and shoes (but not his socks) and laid on his back. He fell over a monitor while walking backwards and singing at one point. He also mixed up the lyrics of the two hit Creed songs, "With Arms Wide Open" and "Higher" and sang the wrong lyrics with the wrong song.
After viewing this information my original belief that Scott Stapp is a total idiot is simply reinforced.
-Derek
Tagz:
derek 360
3 comments:
Derek Rundgren, I am ready to fight!! Haha! JK, JK! That's the old Scott Stapp talking. The scary one! BOO! hehe. JK, again.
Anyway, D-rock-to-the-riz-rock, I'm grateful to have a friend like you. It's true. I've been a punk. Or maybe a skunk! Sorry. Sometimes great lyricists can't resist a good couplet. I want everyone to know I've CHANGED. I'm no longer the selfish arrogant jerk of yester-week. No sir. My Danish therapist has confirmed a notion that's been rattlin in my brain for months:
I, Scottlin Stapp, am not a mere man, but a powerful Demi-God. Possibly of Nordic descent.
And I think it's time to start acting like the best nearly-all-powerful-being that I could be. My first order of business will be to re-structure The Johnny Utah Symposium.
Here are my plans:
1.) I am replacing JUhS founder Mike Sopczynski with Jerry Jenkins, co-writer of the super-fantastic LEFT BEHIND series.
2.) I will write two daily articles. The first, entitled SEASONS OF STAPP, will chronicle weather patterns around the world and how my daily actions affect them. The second, SCOTT POWER, will showcase my various inventions ranging steam-powered vibrators (Mom, I know what you're getting for your birthday) to smokeless ashtrays.
3.) Mark Tremonti will appear daily in his own quicktime segment where he constructs an anatomically-correct scarecrow, draws my face on it, and proceeds to blow it's cornstalk dick.
4.) My new bride, Jackie N, will learn how to put the toilet seat up. Everytime I go to take a piss, I fall right into the bowl.
5.) Finally, in conjunction with my sister blog, www.xanga.com/AbyssGlyder, I will begin work on a screenplay that will make your heart hurt and eyes bleed.
I think, after taking these careful steps, I will finally have what it takes to be the best Scott Stapp I can be. Once again, thank you Derek. Thank you for showing the world my wrongs, and making so much else right.
Love,
SS
Whoa.
Stapp, stay the fuck away from the JUS staff and stay away from the JUS itself. I don't want you peddling your lousy ideas here. As a matter of fact, you are banned from the JUS. Congratulations Scotty boy, you are the first person to be banned from the JUS. Oh, and that sister blog of yours sucks. Real bad.
To our other readers, I apologize for my fury.
This man is a total criminal, an abusive boooly, and a contemptible slob.
-Barnette Lloyd
Official Legal Representation of the JUhS
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