Hello.
This is Sacha Baron-Cohen.
He is the star of the new hit film, Borat. He is also the actor behind the Ali G character. He is hot shit.
----------
This is Sasha Cohen.
She is an Olympian. She took silver in Torino. She is 5'2".
----------
This is Sasha Mitchell.
He starred in Kickboxer 2 and was an important part of the sitcom, Step by Step's success in the mid-90s. He's probably an asshole.
----------
Thank you,
Derek
The Johnny Utah Symposium gives you stuff.
For example, today the Johnny is giving you the opportunity to copy and paste this sweet (and historically accurate) image, and use it to supplant that picture of your spouse's genitals that you've currently got as your wallpaper. Click it to make it big. The image. Not the genitals. Awkward.
Next time we may give you herpes. We'll see.
Tagz:
xmas
Today, the JUhS celebrates the 24th birthday of one of our founding dads: DEREK!!!
That's right, roughly 24 years and 9 months ago, Hot Janet and Magic Don finished up with some humping and 9 months later...voila...one Derek jumps out of Janet like a stripper from a giant-ass stripper cake....complete with sexy dance and g-string.
Today is truly a day of greatness as you, Derek, share your day of exploding onto the scene of the earth with:
1.) John Montague 1718 - Supposedly Invented the Sandwich
2.) Stephen Fuller Austin 1793 - Founding Dad of The Texas.
3.) Bronko Nagurski 1908 - Fullback for the Chicago Bears (making him Derek's favorite footballer of all time)
4.) Bob Feller 1918 - Pimp-ass Pitcher
5.) Charles Bronson 1922 - Badass Actor Who Set the Bar Really High for November 3 Births
6.) Larry Holmes 1949 - Boxer
7.) Roseanne Barr (Arnold) 1952 - Not Completely Worthless, Funny At Times Actress
8.) Dennis Miller 1953 - Overrated Dude
9.) Adam Ant 1954 - One of Andy's (JUhS) Default Band/Singers
10.) Phil Simms 1955 - Quarterback, Spare Commentator, Loins Exploded Out Chris
11.) Karch Kiraly 1961 - Pimpass Volleyball Player, One of Andy's (JUhS) Favorite Default Obscure Athletes
and finally,
12.) DOLPH "I'M DOLPH LUNDGREN" LUNDGREN! 1959 - Swedish Born Actor Whose Credits Include: "Masters of the Universe" (WHAT IT IS?!), the original "The Punisher", "Showdown in Little Tokyo", "Universal Soldier", many other spare-ass B-films...BUT...Most Known for His Role as Captain Ivan Drago, the Much Feared Nemesis of Rocky in "Rocky IV".
Today is a day of greatness, INDEED!
So, today, Drocolate, we celebrate your birth with baskets of buttery shrimp and numerous rounds of rums and delicious Coca-Cola brand cola. So let's party til we cry and puke and repeat!
Happy Birthday, Derek!
Tagz:
bday
