January Cardigans: Top Ten List

Hey, bitchys. Let's review the month:

1.) The Founding Dad Dudes experienced the healing power of awesome during their reunion in The Big Apple.

2.) I went back to work.

3.) THERE WILL BE BLOOD went into wide release, quickly becomes the best film of the decade. Milkshake sales go up six hundred percent:



3.) Brad Renfro died.

4.) I got promoted at work. :)

5.) Heath Ledger died. :(

6.) I wrecked my car.

7.) Quentin Tarantino experienced the healing power of awesome in Park City, Utah:



8.) Taj Mahal burned down, but was rebuilt so fast no one noticed.

9.) MEET THE SPARTANS became the number one film at the box office. Resulted in the true loss of America's innocence.

10.) Barack Obama confirmed he's black.

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You said it, Tony. January 2008 has been a rollercoaster ride. The only question is: The ride from FINAL DESTINATION 3 or from FEAR?

"Wailing, teeth gnashing ... wait, where am I?"

Wow. If you liked Jerry at all ... um ... don't scroll down to the previous post.

Then again, if you liked Jerry you probably weren't reading this blog.

First of all, the Johnny and its affiliates can not and will not take responsibility for what happened today. Personally, I think he just took it hard when Newt broke things off. It was inevitable. Tragic really.

Now, this may be a tad more severe than, say ... a 45-day jail sentence. And I don't (necessarily) care to promote senseless death. But like they always say, it's not like he didn't have it coming.

Inasmuch, here's to one less idiot on the planet. Let's hope he's not reincarnated (it's un-Christian, anyway). And if he is, let's hope it's as something farther down the food chain.


In parting, some items Jerry may learn on his way straight to ... well, wherever it is he's headed now:

• The Earth is round



• The Earth orbits the Sun (the Revolution Machine theory)



• The Earth is more than 12,000 years old



• We sort of look a little like monkeys for a reason



• Michael Thomas (JUhS) once directed a one-act version of "Inherit the Wind"



• The movie was way better



• Religions other than Christianity exist



• Christian denominations other than Southern Baptist-ism (Baptism?) exist



• Countries other than America exist



• People other than Americans exist



• Those people most likely hated him



• Turns out the gays didn't cause the war in Iraq



• It was the Jews



• Not really, it was just Cheney



• Tinky Winky was the only straight Teletubby



• People who think things other than the things he thinks exist (or something)



• Church is boring

Jerry Falwell
RIP
1933-2007

P.S. - You're pointing the wrong way.