Derek Arrives, Finds Intrigue (6 days)

This post is a Johnny first, being written, that is, by two Founding Dad Dudes simultaneously. Now enjoy Derek and Andrew's musings, as they fuse together to become one existential voice, whatever the fuck that means.

Day one in foggy London town has been awesome. Everything was going so well, from the traveling to the sight seeing, that I was not prepared for the tragic and totally crazy headline I saw on one of the completely reliable street tabloids I was handed on The Underground this afternoon.

It speaks for itself.


Needless to say, I (we, Andrew & I, the royal we, the existential us) am/are/is on the case. We/I/Us need to find the head and the arms so we can ID this chick and solve this mutilation mystery.

Over and out.
-Andrek Runvoni (JUhS)

Hong Kong Dig Day

JUhSers,

Uhhh ... I think I screwed up. I may have dug a bit too far. I found these two:


Is this OK?

Feeling a Little Awkward,
Andrew
"Proud JUhS Member Since 2006!"

p.s. - There's also an employee here named Queenie Tran ... you can't make this stuff up ...

KEEP ON DIGGING!

Hey there,

I hope all of you novice archaeologists out there had a prolific day of digging up awesome stuff yesterday. I know I did! I found this:


I know! Holy shit!

I've been running some sweet tests on these bones in the Johnny Lab and all signs point to these bones being the bones of Rasputin and some other dude. This is a big find. Rasputin's bones are supposed to have a crazy hex on them (according to a periodical of note) so I currently have them locked up in my downstairs bathroom. Oh, and don't worry, I totally washed my hands after handling the bones.

All of this excitement has inspired me to turn National Dig in the Dirt Day into National Dig in the Dirt WEEK! So just keep on digging and trust me, you will find something awesome. If you dig deep enough you may just find lava.

OH YEAH!
-Derek

NATIONAL DIG IN THE DIRT DAY '06

Hello everyone!

This Tuesday, August 1, is the first annual "National Dig in the Dirt Day". This event is being sponsored by the Johnny Utah Symposium and it is going to be a prolific day of glorious archaeological discovery. I know this seems totally random (and a little weird) but the events of this previous week have paved the path towards this new holiday. Let me explain:

On July 25th, some dudes in Dublin were digging in a bog (hell yes a bog) when they saw something in the bog muck. They turned off their backhoes and went in closer to examine the object. It was an ancient book of psalms dating back to the year 800. It was open to Psalm 83, in which God hears complaints of other nations' attempts to wipe out the name of Israel. Uhhhhhh. Dublin? What? Read the full story here and view some really awful pictures of the document covered in bog muck.

On July 26th, some other dudes in Virginia were checking out an old well (and I know that's not really digging in the dirt, but it's close) when they found some sweet relics from early America. They found an old pistol, a leather shoe and a sweet plaque that simply reads "James Towne". The relics are estimated to be roughly 400 years old. You can read this full story here and see a sweet pic of some bearded dude holding the muddy found gun.

These two incidents have made it perfectly clear to me that we, as human beings, don't spend enough time digging in the dirt for awesome stuff. Dinosaur bones, human skeletons, alien technology, different larvae, toxic waste, amulets, stuff from the titanic, relics from past times, Atlantis. These are just examples of some of the sweet stuff you could find if you simply walk into your backyard, harness the raw power of a shovel, and dig. I'd say a minimum of four feet down would be a good start but the deeper the better.

I want our millions (cough) of readers out there to join in on the fun and take part in this brand new holiday. Tell your friends and polish your shovels. DIG DIG DIG!

Full update on Wednesday where we catalog all the awesome stuff we find. Below is a sweet poster. Feel free to print some off and post them at your local mercantile.


I'm totally serious...about all of this.
-Derek