Through the Aperture of Andy: An Editorial
Keys to hit tv show: everyday, normal looking, cute girl...in a hospital with a just out of reach love interest...borderline zany, but heart warming supporting characters...peppered with oh so delicious lines like: "Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."...and coast on appropriately themed indie-pop tracks played in the background. Oh yeah, and set in a hospital.
Holy bleep. That's like trying to give a fried snickers bar covered in chocolate syrup and powdered sugar to a really fat dude who likes sweets. THAT'S how much of a hit you have there with those ingredients. ...And THAT'S what you have with ABC's "Grey's Anatomy".
You know what else you have with "Grey's Anatomy" (or "Grey's")? The most frustratingly, absurdly nothing of a show of all time. Yes, it's the most popular show with girls age 2 weeks to 110 years (I'm not positive on those stats, so don't quote me...but I'm pretty sure they're kind of not too incorrect), but that's just the proof I need that this show sucks. I mean it's full of chick propaganda. The anti-fairytale, fairytale. ...And don't get me wrong...I LOOOVE THE WOMEN...but women are no good at everything (to borrow from Homer Simpson and Brian Fantana....which will get me off on a whole other anger tangent about quoting that movie).
Let me sum up an episode: "Hey! I'm a woman. Not just a woman. A grown up woman. Isn't that redundant? (note - that's where canned laughter would be put in...if there were a laugh track...and where all viewing women pause to reflect and agree with this statement) And not just a grown up woman a grown up DOCTOR woman. And I'm in love. And love sucks! Now let's talk to my co-workers as they talk about their vaginas! Oh gah! I remember when we were kids and we were going to be married! But now, I may not get married. Wow. I hate men. I love making out. I hate me! And that's ok!"
WHAT THE HELL?!?!? What is wrong with women?! Are they all THIS depressed and put-out with life to the point that a whole show about accepting getting crapped on by life but then life hangs a carrot in front of you on a stick and a string like a cartoon donkey and cart only to pull it away from you just when you're about to nourish your hunger and then crap on you again? HOLY CRAP!!! WOMEN! YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!!!
...IT'S FRUSTRATING! And you chicks just eat it up! "OH! THAT'S MY AWAY MESSAGE TOMORROW!" That's an actual quote spoken from the mouth of one female viewer named Liz who shall go nameless, while watching part 1 of the Code Black fiasco. The power this show has! Only 2 things in history have carried more weight: the Bible and Hitler!
Just check out The Facebook! "There's got to be way over 1,000 chicks who put this down on their interests!" exclaimed Derek in reference to just the OU Facebook. And then there's the occasional dude who also says they "like" it. Give it up, assholes. We all know you just put that on there so chicks will go: "Awww." But even then, this damn show should teach them to look out for assholes like that...but they don't learn! What we have here is the new The Notebook. (Except, I admit, I like that...that's a whole contradiction that we'll get into at a later date). It's St. Elmo's Fire set in a hospital. It's ER without any trace of Clooney, Eriq La Salle karate punch, and any action...with the exception of the latest "Code Black" story line...which ended pretty alright...but was still absurd.
I can't fully describe this show. It's not rhetoric. It's not...pretentious. It's just....stupid and frustrating.
All I can say, as I wrap up this entry that I'm sure is out of left field and doesn't capture the fiery passionate frustration I have with this show, is that "Grey's Anatomy" is the most annoying thing on tv.
...That and John Buccigross.
How about this: "What Christopher Carrabba is to Dashboard Confessional, "Grey's Anatomy" and John Buccigross are to tv." Stupid, shitty, and bloated all around...and sucky....and ruining all sorts of stuff.
-Andy
Tagz:
andy's aperture
4 comments:
If I had the choice between screwing Grey's (the title character of Grey's Anatomy) or an 80 year old, I would screw the 80 year old.
While I admire Tits Drexler's passion I have to disagree. I'd definitely screw Ms. Grey over an 80 year old. 80 year olds are...old, and Ms. Grey is attractive borering on hot. In response to Andy's brilliant article I must say that I completely agree with all the points he brought up. The show is mind control. It's a narcotic for the women of our great nation. They're opening up and swallowing it down weekly and it is infecting their insides with so much pestulence that they don't even know how ridiculous they sound when they pontificate about how it's the best show on tv right now. Oh, and for the dudes who "like" Grey's anatomy well I can only echo Andy's comments. There have got to be easier and more respectable ways to get yourself in the good graces of women. You don't have to go over to your chick-friend-that-you-which-was-something-more's house every Sunday and watch Grey's Anatomy. You don't have to sit there laughing awkwardly at all the jokes. You don't have to gasp when the black doctor (who is not Eriq La Salle) is talking about a Code Black. Rise above it and go watch porn or something.
Rant done.
If its wrong then I dont want to be right... I love the show, not because it controls my mind but because it has a great indie-pop track, it has decent writing with the exception of last nights conclusion to Code Black, because everyone knows that you totally put the bomb in the bomb box the second you retrieve it or its going to blow you into pink mist. I also really like Patrick Dempsy, I liked him in "Cant buy me love" and the fact that he plays a goofy doctor only helps the crush. I like to change my away message everyday to something pop-culturaly relevent because its excellent convo starters. My boss and my other co-workers also do this, its our offices thing. I am not going to be called out like that without defending myself, and my fellow Grey's lovers. We are woman (and men) hear us roar! Andy even with you calling me out in the spirt of valentines day, I have still decided to ask you to be my valentine.
i'm a girl and i like grey's. actually, i love the show. however, i think you give it to much credit. i don't live my life by it's alternating mushy/cynical (but still awesome) quips. no rational person would. but if we're going on the behavior of irrational tv viewers, that opens pandora's box of criticism of every show, good and bad. so, let's all just admit that grey's kicks quite a bit of small screen ass even though [gasp] it's become a mainstream hit. not everything that's popular is bad. except lindsay lohan. she's terrible.
Post a Comment