Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Stupid Person Time

Normally, Derek (JUhS) holds it down in the vast arena of Stupid Persons. Not to encroach upon his territory, but I felt compelled to share this with everyone today. While engaged in my daily routine of avoiding anything resembling work, I came across this beauty of an article from South Africa.

To recap, four recently-released criminals decided to hijack a darkly tinted car right in front of a police station that - get this - contained two armed police officers and two armed private investigators. Needless to say, they were unsuccessful. Somehow, no one was injured. Stupid? I'd say very.

This got me thinking ... would these criminals' severe lack of judgement apply to alternate scenarios? Where does this rank in the universe of patently bad ideas?

Some off-the-cuff examples:

Guy 1: My recurring case of explosive diarrhea is acting up again. Are you sure this roller coaster is such a great idea?
Guy 2: It's all good, mans. I'm right behind you.
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Man: Please, sweetie. Please blow me. Just ... work around the herpes sores.
Woman: Alright. Is herpes even contagious?
Man: No ... ??
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HS Basketball Player: Coach, that retard McElwain won't stop bothering us. We're losing by 30, can't you do something?
Coach: Don't worry. I'll put him in for a couple minutes, he'll miss a few shots, and we won't hear a word about it ever again.
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Britney: You know, I've been wondering ... bald. The new pink?
Paris: That's so hot.
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Marquette Mom 1: What's that one kid's name? The funny looking one with the curly hair. Something with a 'J'. Jopchinskee, Japdoogee ...
Marquette Mom 2: Fuck it. Just write "Jade".

I might be on to something here.

Readers, we know you're out there (you're on our counters!). We'd like to see your own thoughts in the comments. There's got to be some better examples. Have at it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

potty humor

Andrew (JUhS) said...

mehhh...

Anonymous said...

Frank: Let's make a baby!
(9 months later)
Rosemary: Let's name him Andrew!