Random Rambles and Musings by Andy

While watching the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Game between the Cards and Cubs tonight (April 9th), my mind wandered upon a good 6 minute chain of thoughts about baseball. Here they are...

1.) As a joke to fellow JUhS founding father, Derek, I offered up the opinion that since Albert Pujols lost his third base eligibility in our fantasy baseball league he's lost all value. I, of course, was joking (or was I? look it up!). Derek found it amusing:

Derek: "haha"

I then offered it to David and Mark (the 2 other contestants in our league). David agreed:

David: "You do speak truths"

Mark, however, thought I was serious and offered me his counterargument:

Mark: "I don't know about that. Hitting for a high average with good power numbers is pretty solid"
Me (continuing my playfully sarcastic argument): "Not when you only play 1 position."
Mark: "Well i think with Pujols you get consistancy which you need from your higher picks. You know he's gonna hit for like .335 with 40 some HRs with 120 RBIs and a shitload of runs scored. No contract disputes, trade rumours or anything."

Thank you Mark for winning me over. Pujols truly IS a fantasy baseball gold mine.

2.) After connecting with what would end up being a 3-run homerun, Jacque Jones flipped his bat in Brett Boone "Booney Bat Flip" stylee.

Derek: "Gah Jacques needs to not flip the bat"
Andy: "How do you figure?"
Derek: "Flipping the bat is fucking lame. Especially when you're a second tier guy like Jok." (Jok = Jacque Jones)

This inspired me to offer up what I would do upon smacking a long one. I think it would be humerous (and show my street side) if, as I watched the ball leave the playing field, took the bat to my lips and proceeded to take fat hits from the bat as if it were a fat blunt. How awesome would that be? A dude sitting there toking up from a 34 inch bat as if it were a 34 inch marijuana cigarette? HOW AWESOME?!

I'd then run the bases and then upon completion of said rounding I'd stand at home plate and yell at the umpire, catcher, fans and DEA:

"That was a FAT HIT!" or "HITS FROM THE BAT?!?" or "Fat Louisville Blunt!" or something like that. I'd probably then gratuitously hump the ground and a cardboard cut out of the pitcher's mother.

3.) My train of though ended with this: What I would do if I were a Sportscenter anchor and I was narrating a highlight of some dude...say Juan Pierre (to continue with the Cards/Cubs theme) laying down a bunt. What if I were to say:

"And Pierre takes a fat hit from the blunt." Then (or maybe before the bunt is laid down) I'd make a lound and long tight-lipped inhaling sound followed by a cough as if I were taking a drag from some tightly rolled bud. I'd become the most popular Sportscenter anchor since Craig Kilborn and Keith Olberman combined.

So yeah. I hadn't posted in a while and figured I'd waste your time with this entry. What do YOU guys think about ideas above? What would YOU do if YOU hit a homerun? What would YOU do if YOU were a Sportscenter anchor?

Those who are late do not get fruit cup.

-Andy (JUhS)